Happy Birthday Sweet Sawyer

Five years ago today at 6:13pm our sweet Sawyer had entered the world 4 months early. Even though it's been 5 years the pain is still there and feels like it was just yesterday. I always dread the month of March, I call it my March Sadness. Still to this day I always question myself of what I could have done different. I'm still not ready for that door to be closed. To this day when we get asked how many kids do we have, I still say 3. We have 3 beautiful little boys.

All I have left of Sawyer are wonderful memories and a few items left behind on the day he passed. I put together a little mint box of clothes, hospital bands and his little hat and sometimes when it just seems to hard, I pick up the box and pretend I'm holding him. I feel so blessed that Sawyer was in our lives even though it was for two short weeks. He has taught me so much about myself and I'm thankful for that.

So here's to you sweet Sawyer on your 5th Birthday. We love you more than words can say and think about you everyday. Your brothers miss you and love you so much. Every time Sekota gets a balloon he lets it go so it flies up to you. It gets my every time. One of these days very soon we will finally meet again and I can't wait.

Love,
Your Mommy